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authorbrian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net>2015-02-02 11:10:53 +0000
committerbrian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net>2015-02-02 11:10:53 +0000
commitb367018661de5ff55239156efd256e542b4956ac (patch)
treeab55b92785e758ba543c33afb65c2e995ebc0315 /sketches
parent8fde3a907a52bc4b170ed84f9f1e294c47405f3b (diff)
epistle: exploit line breaks.
Pull some lines tighter to make better use of the line breaks. Add the word "peaceful" to exploit the connection between the cedar and the way you look in the mirror. This furthermore exploits both the verb and adverb forms of "like". "Peaceful" isn't quite the right sense, but it will have to do for the moment. Signed-off-by: brian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net>
Diffstat (limited to 'sketches')
-rw-r--r--sketches/epistle.adoc7
1 files changed, 3 insertions, 4 deletions
diff --git a/sketches/epistle.adoc b/sketches/epistle.adoc
index 0be2710..138e3fc 100644
--- a/sketches/epistle.adoc
+++ b/sketches/epistle.adoc
@@ -9,13 +9,12 @@ bang your shin
getting out of bed.
Swear, breathe,
put your feet on the cold floor.
-Look down at your
-nimble fingers, your
-strong, gentle hands,
+Look down at your nimble fingers,
+your strong, gentle hands,
rub the scars on your wrists.
Breathe shamelessly.
Smell the wood smoke,
-hints of cedar,
+hints of cedar, peaceful,
like the way you look
in the mirror, your angular joints
the deft strokes of a pen.