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authorbrian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net>2021-03-15 03:39:41 +0000
committerbrian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net>2021-03-15 03:39:41 +0000
commite2b152a42c6e3b72a31fad7b571dd4235f10de80 (patch)
treec42d7310c5a84b8a9400940159bf9498b88adfc3
parente2060aee9e3fbcbfce91531b58ba247ee3bb66a6 (diff)
Update iridescent-dream
Provide a conclusion which is not terrifying. Not everything needs to be terrible and sometimes people actually enjoy having pleasant dreams, shocking as that might be. This passage still needs work and may need to be rewritten entirely, but at least it's a step in the right direction. Additionally, adjust the title depth to avoid creating a needless section.
-rw-r--r--working/iridescent-dream.adoc10
1 files changed, 7 insertions, 3 deletions
diff --git a/working/iridescent-dream.adoc b/working/iridescent-dream.adoc
index 17c8bbf..64c2d50 100644
--- a/working/iridescent-dream.adoc
+++ b/working/iridescent-dream.adoc
@@ -1,4 +1,4 @@
-== In Your Iridescent Dream
+= In Your Iridescent Dream
[verse]
____
@@ -42,6 +42,10 @@ You drive down the road as it seems
to get even darker. The streetlights have gone
away, your headlights dim, you remain behind
the wheel. You step on the brake,
-do not stop. You have lost all feeling.
-You want to open your eyes but cannot.
+gently coast to a stop at the side of the road.
+A deer walks by your car.
+You breathe the cool air in
+through your nostrils,
+feel alive and somehow
+awake.
____