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authorbrian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net>2019-09-23 02:00:28 +0000
committerbrian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net>2019-09-23 02:00:28 +0000
commitb2701e9f9d3dbedbc1bc0afdb660f8e9fdb2fd41 (patch)
tree0f2f36e00875aed1299b7f9506610b51109d1bf7
parentb10f606388ab23576cf36cd2e25e549977601ab6 (diff)
Update aftermath
Remove the word "dripping"; we've already got that from "drops leak" and it's not only tighter but also the line matches the previous one better in both length and form. In addition, provide a conclusion for the piece.
-rw-r--r--working/aftermath.adoc4
1 files changed, 3 insertions, 1 deletions
diff --git a/working/aftermath.adoc b/working/aftermath.adoc
index 409dd1a..65e5b9c 100644
--- a/working/aftermath.adoc
+++ b/working/aftermath.adoc
@@ -5,7 +5,7 @@ Aftermath
_____
aquamarine drops leak from my pen
like balls of gilded solder
-dripping onto the khaki-colored carpet
+onto the khaki-colored carpet
a bloom arising boldly
oil-eating algae taking over the sea
@@ -13,4 +13,6 @@ thirty seconds empties it
no more it assists making g's like s's
making m's and n's indistinguishable
bumps of the shopping cart
+
+void, it expresses nothing
_____