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| author | brian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net> | 2019-09-23 02:00:28 +0000 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | brian m. carlson <sandals@crustytoothpaste.net> | 2019-09-23 02:00:28 +0000 |
| commit | b2701e9f9d3dbedbc1bc0afdb660f8e9fdb2fd41 (patch) | |
| tree | 0f2f36e00875aed1299b7f9506610b51109d1bf7 | |
| parent | b10f606388ab23576cf36cd2e25e549977601ab6 (diff) | |
Update aftermath
Remove the word "dripping"; we've already got that from "drops leak" and
it's not only tighter but also the line matches the previous one better
in both length and form.
In addition, provide a conclusion for the piece.
| -rw-r--r-- | working/aftermath.adoc | 4 |
1 files changed, 3 insertions, 1 deletions
diff --git a/working/aftermath.adoc b/working/aftermath.adoc index 409dd1a..65e5b9c 100644 --- a/working/aftermath.adoc +++ b/working/aftermath.adoc @@ -5,7 +5,7 @@ Aftermath _____ aquamarine drops leak from my pen like balls of gilded solder -dripping onto the khaki-colored carpet +onto the khaki-colored carpet a bloom arising boldly oil-eating algae taking over the sea @@ -13,4 +13,6 @@ thirty seconds empties it no more it assists making g's like s's making m's and n's indistinguishable bumps of the shopping cart + +void, it expresses nothing _____ |